Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A new day...

Alright peeps, I've regrouped. I've stopped crying, stopped whining and stopped feeling sorry for myself. 

Today is a new day. 

And there are two things I'm not:
1. A failure
2. A quitter

"With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are     attainable."
                                                      -Thomas Foxwell Buxton

I can do this. I am smart and capable and there is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't be able to get a B in this damn Biology class. Alright sure, I'm going to have to get an A on every assignment from now until the end of the term. And if I want to get hopeful there's a small chance that after all the grades are tallied satan my teacher may grade on a curve. That could help, but I'm not counting on it. 
What I am counting on is my meeting with her tomorrow. I emailed her today and asked if she would go over my test with me tomorrow. Her response: "I'll give it back to you at the end of class, the answers will be posted for you to go over then you can come talk about it with me." Sorry, that's not going to work. 
Here's how it's going to go, at least this is how it is in my head at the moment:

"Hi Gail, whythehelldidIdosodamnbadonthatfuckingtestyou'reabsolutlycrazy!Istudiedfordays,wenttotwostudysessionsandIstillfail!FUCKYOU!"

Okay, that's probably not how it will happen.
It'll be more like this:

Gail, I'm stuck with you for the next two terms and it's important for me to pass this class with a B. I'm applying to UO over winter term and I can't have  a C on my transcript. Since I've started your class I have been incredibly stressed, my other classes are suffering and I can no longer do this. Please tell me what I need to do in order to be successful in your class. 
At this point I hope I'm not crying.
The scores that I have received on tests in this class are the lowest scores I have ever received. I do all the reading, take good notes in class and even come to you with questions. What am I doing so wrong? 
Now I'm pretty sure I'll start crying.  
Obviously something between my answers and your grading isn't clicking and I need to know what that is. And can you please look at my paper since I now have to get an A on every assignment in order to maintain my GPA. 


And if she refuses to help I guess I'll just have to go higher than her. I'm tired of feeling like I learn more outside of class with my group than in class from the teacher. And I'm really tired of putting in so much effort just to fail.

Wish me luck.

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