Today has been one of the worst days I've had in a very long time. I've been feeling very discouraged about school this term, and I've reached a point in the term where I'm either going to sink or swim. With three weeks left, four if you count finals, I have the lowest grades I've ever had at this point in a term.
Last week I studied my ass off for my Biology midterm and today (well about an hour ago) I got my grade. It wasn't good people. It wasn't good at ALL! In fact it made me feel sick to my stomach and start hysterically crying, I'm still worked up about it. Just writing this is making me choked up. I didn't completely fail, but it was the closest I've ever come and it was the lowest test score I've ever gotten.
I hate feeling like I could have done better, but I have no idea what I could have done. I just feel helpless and lost. I'm not used to failing.
This morning I checked my horoscope, I guess it seems pretty fitting right now:
An unexpected event could spark your day and send you off on a different direction than you planned. How you react to what happens, however, is your choice and will set some actions into motion. You may have trouble finding balance now, even though a bit of moderation can prevent your house of cards from tumbling down.
I just didn't think that my unexpected event would be THIS. I was hoping for something awesome like my trust fund coming in.
Only in my dreams...